tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post7612988061201186530..comments2023-09-17T06:41:20.960-05:00Comments on Pocket Lint: I'm scared of July 25thgillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16388843035018332740noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-34048907358517422102010-06-12T19:36:09.598-05:002010-06-12T19:36:09.598-05:00Gillian, Thank you for your honest and vulnerable ...Gillian, Thank you for your honest and vulnerable post! I wish there were some magic date that would signify when attachment would fully occur-for our child and us, but it is just so different for every child and parent. I just posted(much less eloquently, and in the form of a rhyme)about some of my own struggles with attachment. www.justamomofseven.blogspot.com Just knowing we are not alone helps.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09059739357626539938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-3625284925638152052010-06-09T22:13:46.824-05:002010-06-09T22:13:46.824-05:00A beautiful post. God bless you and yours.A beautiful post. God bless you and yours.joannmskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16623513300054521348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-4197891093417271992010-06-06T20:44:28.683-05:002010-06-06T20:44:28.683-05:00Thanks Gillian. Love to you.Thanks Gillian. Love to you.AussieMaznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-67245192771971811212010-06-05T14:25:24.268-05:002010-06-05T14:25:24.268-05:00Gillian-my heart aches for you and your family. I...Gillian-my heart aches for you and your family. I appreciate you sharing your struggles and I know that the Father is with you every step of the way. It isn't easy to do the next thing.........minute after minute...day after day when sometimes you just want to run away and scream. Praying. Donnadbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09590430361687958881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-78581311720325451512010-06-04T18:16:41.429-05:002010-06-04T18:16:41.429-05:00We have had a struggle with our younger adopted so...We have had a struggle with our younger adopted son, too. Sometimes he's very loving, then the next minute he's angry and throwing things. He's been home for 3 years this month-he's 4 1/2. He went through all kinds of insecurities that his older brother, also adopted, did not. I find myself challenged to be patient, to stay calm, to persevere with him sometimes. It seemed we were doing better, then last month when my husband and I each had to be out of town for a few days, he took a giant step backward-back to constant agitation, refusing to sleep, hitting, throwing things...it is not easy. Like you, I wonder when/if things will turn around. But I can see progress--one year after we came home, we couldn't even go away for the weekend with him and our other kids--he just freaked out. Now, less fear,less terror. But he still craves routine.wvamomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16845190200405819829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-12598211521992127872010-06-02T07:20:55.563-05:002010-06-02T07:20:55.563-05:00learning to love achild and having that child lear...learning to love achild and having that child learn to love you back is a process, a long hard process of attachemnt. It is not a nagging sin. It takes time, be patient with yourself and with Evie. Hang in there and as the day approaches be gentle with yourself.stellarparenting.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04975942737904876508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-22544571506755050362010-06-01T22:34:06.355-05:002010-06-01T22:34:06.355-05:00Geez, Gillian, you act like you're HUMAN or so...Geez, Gillian, you act like you're HUMAN or something. You write this post as if you are imperfect and need a Mighty God to rely on for your every need. :)<br /><br />I love how honest you are and I wish you'd show it more often. Its completely refreshing.<br /><br />I am HONORED to call you my friend.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00324762753068411235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-64345911175823663222010-06-01T21:16:41.940-05:002010-06-01T21:16:41.940-05:00I'm so thankful for you, Gillian. Your honest...I'm so thankful for you, Gillian. Your honesty is refreshing and very helpful to those of us who are dealing with similar struggles. Don't forget that July 25th can be the first day of a year full of blessings and positive changes. I recommend keeping a list of the positive changes you see in Evie as time goes by. It's a nice thing to look back on when you are feeling discouraged.<br />I'm praying for you and I'm thankful to have a friend who is walking a similar road.<br />LisaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-54112362278646464502010-06-01T16:46:08.693-05:002010-06-01T16:46:08.693-05:00Hugs to you for your honesty. I have a birth child...Hugs to you for your honesty. I have a birth child with some not-yet-diagnosed issues (ODD? Bipolar? Is it possible for a birth child to have RAD?) that make life very, very difficult. Some days, I shine, but many days, I act like the sinful human that I am. <br /><br />Sometimes, I think that our experience with him will help us on our future adoption journey. Today, it makes me want to run from adoption because I do not want to experience anything like this EVER AGAIN. Sigh.<br /><br />Mostly, I am just so grateful for grace.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12808674825863044909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-53037218067363588182010-06-01T14:21:08.864-05:002010-06-01T14:21:08.864-05:00Today, Abigail said she hated her brother. I wante...Today, Abigail said she hated her brother. I wanted to scold her for it, but I know that sometimes I want to run away forever and isn't that the same thing. My children are constantly revealing the darkness within and I can only take it to the cross. I just want to let you know that you aren't alone, that people in PA love you, and that I am praying for you all.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12407020444991828835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-72513339559613666782010-06-01T10:32:07.225-05:002010-06-01T10:32:07.225-05:00I soooo appreciate your honesty. may I just say t...I soooo appreciate your honesty. may I just say that I, too, feel frustration and the desire to push my kids away. its something I've struggled with for years. i had a very sad thought the other day, Mae's 9th birthday, that I've been yelling at my kids for about 7 years now (since Mae was 2, go figure). I don't have any words of wisdom or encouragement for you. wish I did. guess we're all in this motherhood boat together. good thing Jesus is here with us! :)<br /><br />love you dear sister! DeanneDeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00806557096802322028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-47000573367483421672010-06-01T08:48:58.127-05:002010-06-01T08:48:58.127-05:00Thank you for such an honest post. I don't kno...Thank you for such an honest post. I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but as the adoptive mom of two older special needs kidos, it is the two year mark that you need to hang in there for. At least that is our experience. We still have our days, moments, but it so much better on this side of that marker.Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04242104797223483460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-6763452429294086732010-06-01T06:29:26.179-05:002010-06-01T06:29:26.179-05:00Gillian, your honesty and vulnerability is humblin...Gillian, your honesty and vulnerability is humbling and a great example for me. Thank you!Alida Sharphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07640849066159985893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-77635883188459330842010-06-01T01:54:16.405-05:002010-06-01T01:54:16.405-05:00Thank you for your painful honesty. Your road is ...Thank you for your painful honesty. Your road is probably more common than you think and there are many out there whose hearts are also hurting in the same way. Thank you for being vulnerable.Sandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05968771661846546449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-46691976311425616052010-06-01T00:09:19.284-05:002010-06-01T00:09:19.284-05:00I can believe that it was really difficult to writ...I can believe that it was really difficult to write this post . . . afraid of being judged but at the same time needing to get those feelings out.<br /><br />I'm a little surprised that I'm not the only one who struggles with these emotions at times - so many blogs go on and on about how wonderful everything is - you already said words that fit me so well - that as the mother I shouldn't feel like rejecting, the feeling of being a failure as an adoptive parent, etc.<br /><br />It is getting better, but it's definitely not been the year and a half I thought it would be.Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15147469600122876775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-47185149601111882032010-05-31T23:07:35.992-05:002010-05-31T23:07:35.992-05:00Thanks everyone. This post was hard to write. Lo...Thanks everyone. This post was hard to write. Looking like we have it all together is such a nagging sin.gillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16388843035018332740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-85353735197358473222010-05-31T23:01:33.464-05:002010-05-31T23:01:33.464-05:00I really like your note...
On a different note, I...I really like your note...<br /><br />On a different note, I am thankful for your post, because it was not too long ago that I was still questioning if we had made the right choice bringing Nina home. And because I see how Ellie treats Nina and I realize that she she mimics me perfectly...it makes me feel like a failure and I wonder how many issues Nina could have in the future because she did not feel like her mother accepted her, that somehow she never really belonged.<br /><br />If you have read my recent posts, we are making progress, but I am still learning. I didn't know that bonding would be an issue for me, and not just her.<br /><br />Hugs friend.Ellen Stumbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02883373231740515881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-73285099210526496172010-05-31T22:50:48.046-05:002010-05-31T22:50:48.046-05:00Ooooh, that is tough. I had no idea you were still...Ooooh, that is tough. I had no idea you were still struggling. Come talk to us over on the After the Rainbow group. You know we will listen and love you, right? Wish I could say just the right words to make it all better, but I know better than that.<br /><br />It's been a VERY tough year for you, not just the post-adoption but a lot of other stuff too. Praying for you tonight....Charissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09621183972130351161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-40641051156962048662010-05-31T22:05:58.824-05:002010-05-31T22:05:58.824-05:00Gillian, I was deeply touched by your raw honesty ...Gillian, I was deeply touched by your raw honesty in this post. Thank you for trusting us, as readers and friends, with this particular struggle. May you keep on keeping on in God's strength.juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13882471016269583374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-58519055148835394642010-05-31T21:56:06.529-05:002010-05-31T21:56:06.529-05:00I think you express what most people hold inside! ...I think you express what most people hold inside! You tell some of the "real" sides to being a parent! God bless you for picking yourself up and going at it again tomorrow!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-621801960980381156.post-60754953172544724622010-05-31T21:56:00.563-05:002010-05-31T21:56:00.563-05:00my Ethan turns 8 tomorrow. he came home from Russi...my Ethan turns 8 tomorrow. he came home from Russia just two weeks before turning 2. I still dont feel like we have it all together. Even the kids who came home 9 months ago have a closer and calmer and less tumultuous relationship with me than he does. its just who he is. he is what he is. I try to love him. I do love him I think. but he pushes me away all the time. he wants to go home with other people, or sit in their laps. people we barely know. or inappropriate people. but whether he loves me or not, I carry on teaching him how to be a good person. some days I get through, other days not so much. what I am saying here is I feel your pain. I do understand. it is very hard to live with someone who doesnt reciprocate even a little. someone who pushes away again and again when all we want is a little closeness. its difficult, its painful. and time may not heal it. but if you just get through today, tomorrow is a new day. maybe it will be a good day.MoonDoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com