Just have to say...

That Evangeline wanted me tonight at dinner when she was sad. And I wanted her!

It's been a long road with a lot of curves and I know we are not out of the woods.

But this was huge.

And tonight, I am happy.

Magic

In the midst of washing throw up off the living room walls, in between drop-off and pick-up at two schools and four different classrooms, in spite of brain surgery scheduling, canceling, rescheduling, figuring out how to apply for a social security card, Wii tennis matches, tears, prayers, and Monday night meatloaf, something else has been happening.

Evangeline is starting to get a spark in her eye.

I'm not going to lie. I had started to doubt.

But something new is budding in my relationship with our youngest daughter. Evie is initiating eye contact not only at home but also in her classroom. For over a week now she comes to me at least once a day for a long cuddle. She laughs when Sergei walks in the door and goes to him for a kiss.

Interestingly enough, due to living conditions outside my control and my inability to stay on task, our usual routine with Evie regarding her therapy (joint compressions, brushing, swinging, bouncing on a ball, etc...) has fallen by the wayside lately. The only thing I've had enough time or energy to do is love her.

I didn't want to write about it because it's new and so incredibly encouraging to this frumpy, frazzled and tired mother (who overheard her oldest daughter tell someone she was turning 45 in March instead of 35...ugh). But I know that I must share this, regardless if it will disappear next week and she goes back to rocking off to the side by herself all day. If I'm going to write about the struggles in our adoption process I must let you know about the joy too.

And recently in all this craziness known as my life, Evie's heartfelt smile at me is proof of redemption; that God is doing what he promised by taking two strangers and molding them into a mother and a daughter with all their delays and faults and failures and happiness; the actual instruments in the conversion.

Sometimes I get mad at Sergei because he doesn't have 'therapy play time' with the kids. In an effort to defend his honor (and to make an excuse for not paying attention to therapy goals) Sergei insists his focus is on 'love' therapy (i.e. sitting on the couch and doing nothing but hugging your kid).

I'm safe to admit it here because I know he doesn't read my blog regularly. Dang it, I think he's right.

I can swing Evie until the cows come home but what seems to be working the best is just being there.

And the real magic is she's there too...

The In Crowd

When Evangeline first came home to us almost five months ago she didn't want anything to do with her sisters. Generally if the family was doing something together Evie would be found off to the side, in another room, away, rocking or even sometimes hitting her head against a hard surface.

Over time her tolerance of family time has grown. Sometimes she'd sit to the side, not really with us but close...still unconnected. After a while she'd even join in on a tickle fest or another family activity...then get overstimulated and find a quiet place to hide.

Tonight after Evie finished eating her dinner, instead of walking into the living room to be on her own she climbed up into a free chair in the kitchen and hung with the group. When everyone was finished she got down on her chair and followed them into the living room.

It was a wonderful sight to see! God willing, with time she will be more and more engaged with her sisters and our family.

Elaina, Zoya and Polly always make sure they include Evie (whether she wants to be included or not :). With them, Evie's been in the 'IN' crowd since the day they met her. I'm so thankful that Evangeline has sisters. They love her so!