Wednesday, October 5, 2011

October is Down syndrome awareness month...

and I am totally missing the boat.  I had plans to blog every day in October about Down syndrome.  I wanted to tweet about it and post facts every day in my facebook status.

But instead, so far in October, I haven't done a thing to advance awareness about Down syndrome.  Instead, I've spent the last three days in and out of bed.  I've been crying for no reason.  I've been too overwhelmed to think about raising awareness.

I've been too overwhelmed to brush my teeth.

Depression sucks.

Two nights ago, at bed time, Sergei brought Polly up to me in my room.  She crawled up onto the bed, placed her cup of water on the side table, and leaned in to nuzzle her cheek to mine.

"Mom, you know what?" she asked, looking me square in the face with her beautiful, large doe-like eyes.

"What, honey?" I whispered, tired from the dark blanket that had been inexplicably thrown over my head for the last few days.

"You're my best friend."

"Thank you, Polly."  I started to cry.  "I needed to hear that."

Even in the midst of the ups and downs in my life, I am profoundly aware of the gift God has given to me in my children.  All four of my daughters bring light to a life that is often in the dark. But Polly and Evie, especially, brighten my days with simple things: a hug, a smile, words of love and adoration.

It is important to know the facts about Down syndrome.

But I believe it's even more important to testify to the fact that my daughters with Down syndrome are living, breathing anti-depressants in my life.

I am so thankful to have them. What a privilege to get to live day by day with that kind of awareness.


  1. Aw, sweet Gillian! This is beautiful!!! Thank you for your honesty, your REAL, your testimony. BEAUTIFUL!

  2. Oh man... so sweet... and so real. God bless little Polly and Evie. Do you take any real anti-depressants too? I imagine you've tried. ***hugs***

  3. Gillian - I learned about your blog and website from another e-maginary friend.

    Interesting that October was Down Syndrome awareness month. We're developing an awareness alright....

    October 4th we welcomed our 4th and much prayed for blessing into this world. Within two hours we were quietly told she had several 'markers' and would need genetic testing for Down Syndrome. Also an echocardiogram because there was a potential issue with her heart.

    That was NOT how I expected that to go....

    She has been diagnosed with Trisomy 21 and an AVSD. Open heart surgery here we come. Life is pendulum swinging between awesomeness and 'this sucks' these days and I'm not handling it with much grace.

    I want to read your memoir. I NEED to read your memoir. Where can I get an advance copy? Or to whom should I address my letter to help get it published? Looking forward to it...

  4. The Hayes Zoo, welcome! I am so glad you found me. I emailed you :).


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